new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
