He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
