Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
