The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
