I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
