Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
