i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
