Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
