My nipple is on Facebook.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
