I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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