It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize