my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize