Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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