I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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