It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
