God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
