Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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