dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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