that's an acceptable place to lick
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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