you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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