put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.