Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
