my mouth tastes like poor choices
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
