OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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