dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
did i just pee glitter
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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