If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize