he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
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You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
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Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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