I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
