I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
