I am in a vortex of obligation.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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