My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
