Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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