Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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