He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
