Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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