Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
