Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
A bitchslap is in order.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
