You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
