on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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