If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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