Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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