So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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