you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
