Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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