This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
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I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
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Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.