i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
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Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me