I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
