Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
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Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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