Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
