yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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