My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
