and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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