I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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