I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize