some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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