i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
