I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
