I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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