My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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