6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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